Heaven....

Thursday, February 24, 2005

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if possible, this is to er ge....

if u cannot make it on mon, just tell me cannot.... dun even give me hopes that u will... it hurts to know that someone give u hope and dash it.... just tell me that everything i wish for is a dream... a dream that never can be done.... a dream... at least it would not hurt so bad... at least in the dream i can still know that u are there.... when i take my results.... but now.... u dashed it for me.... it hurts.... even though jie and di r there with me, things are not the same...

when i place in my nick " hope that er ge will be available on fri and mon" why didn't u tell me that time? why didn't u tell me that u can only make it on fri? at least when i know it earlier, the feeling of disappointment and sadness is lesser.... now then u tell me.... 4 days b4 the release of results... especially when u make me look forward so much to that day.... so much.... it hurts so much....

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2/24/2005 12:39:00 PM
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Sunday, February 20, 2005

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can er ge be available on thurs and fri? it might be too much to ask, available on two days.. but i really need him.... i really need him to take away my sadness... when i take my results... really need him to tell me that things will be fine... ( even though it might be the fact that deep down inside, we know that it is not) but i really need him to be there.... i know that if he or kor is reading this.. they both will shake their heads and say that i am always so dependent on others.... yup... and that is what chye eng is telling me now... sigh.. then can i at least for once be dependent on er ge?

as days r getting nearer and i become more frighten each day, tears r also threatening to fall by the minute... i really dunno.... i am really very scared to take the results... very scared to know.... all i wanna to do now... is to let someone take away my fear, take away the hot topic among my relatives... how am i gonna to face them? i really dunno.... this time round, no one among my relatives tell me that things will be alright, dun worry... no one.... everyone is asking me... when is ur o level results out? which course u wanna 2 go? i dunno.... i cannot afford to let anything go wrong... hau yi and wilfred.. they r better than me... and who knows... comparison will be gonna on behind me.... i dunno.... the pressure is being felt... and it really does....

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2/20/2005 03:19:00 PM
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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

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blehz.. today i had a 2 hour lunch instead of 1... hahaz.... start to pack up at 12 for lunch and then reach back to office at 2 something...hahaz... today special day wad....some of the HR and Accounts department ppl are having chi new yr lunch together in the resturant.... yum yum.... hahaz... overall... food is ok... very filling though... then i love the dessert the most... ice-cream! hahaz... dunno how long never eat liaoz.... say? one or two weeks? hahaz... then basically, i think yen yen and lynn r quite pretty in their cheongsam... yup yupz... and lastly, too bad henrietta cannot join us.. have not come back from her trip... or not... it will be better...hahaz... in a sense larz.. coz last time sitting beside henrietta and soh lian is so nice.. hahaz.... coz they always help me to take the food ma... and as u all know me... i am super lazy to do anything one... hahaz...

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2/15/2005 10:40:00 AM
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Monday, February 14, 2005

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if i have 3 wishes, i will wish that i know kor ( chye eng) better... coz for these few days... or should i say, since his internet is ok, we seldom talk already.. i have totally no idea on what is gonna on with his life, no idea why is he happy, why is he down.... really i dun... so my only guess is his love life... i dunno.... just guess.... then for my 2nd wish, i will wish that er ge will be happy and healthy always... live his life just the way when known him better in sec 3.... the guy who always can make me smile.... the guy who always so nice, and everything...in a sense that i really admire him at one period of time.. can handle everything so well... and my 3rd wish is that i will never have to lose such a nice "family"... love them.... ( kor, er ge, jie and di...)

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2/14/2005 02:31:00 PM
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

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very long never update already... anyway.... happy chi new yr to all... hahaz.... today is chi new yr's eve and as usual... like every yr... eat reunion dinner lorz.... yum yum.... this yr still got my "finale"... the crabs... yah! hahaz.... anyway, today after work went out with sze rui and like that lorz... went to bedok and walk... yup yup.... but too bad... coz of the working hours.., i did not manage to go back to damai sec to join in their celebrations/ see teachers... too bad... anyway... might be gonna back this fri... no need to work wad./.. hahaz... then finally can go back to see the teachers.... miss mdm lubna the most... then can give nadiah her notes....

k... if u dun understand wad i am talking here.. dun bother.... slightly not myself le... hahaz....

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2/08/2005 02:15:00 PM
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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

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sianz... that is my word for today.... suddenly henriatta and yen yen become so quiet... so engross in their own work that the whole office today is so quiet.. almost the same as sitting in the exam hall... no one talking at all... then tammy did not come today.... that makes things even quieter.. yupz.... nearly wanna to sleep ar.... zzz zzz zzz

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2/01/2005 02:15:00 PM
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